Saturday, July 10, 2010

Breaking News: Serious Crime In Humboldt Park, BUT WHERE ARE ALL THE COP 'STACHES?

It's 4:32am right now - Earlier I heard some noises which I wrote off as being fire crackers. I distinctly remember thinking to myself "I hate fire crackers - they make me feel as if there are guns going off in my neighborhood. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a fool, but it's July 10th when I'm thinking this, at 1am and you can be damn sure there are STILL kids setting off their tiny rockets & fire crackers as if the 4th ends when they want it to end.

About 25-40 mins pass and I hear my friend Fyodor say, "They're arresting some guy!" - Okay, now my interest is peaked. I stand up & start peering in the direction of the of badge toting dudes piled upon one poor sucker that's getting hand cuffed. It took several minutes to cuff him and get him tucked into a car - and all I could think was, "How many cops does it take to fasten some hand cuffs...count...1, 2, 3, 4, 5!..." AMAZING!

By the time Mr. Criminal had been tucked away into a vehicle to take to lock-up, I'd gathered the binoculars and I'm watching hard-core like this is an episode of 24! ::insert beeping clock here::

I completely understand that I was being sucked into the event that was happening outside as if it was spectacle - but in many ways it was just that!

They put police tape up to section off 1/4 of the entire block - there were at least 15 to 20 officers, several of which were specialized detectives, k-9 units, & sheriffs. I saw one officer put a large bag of white powdery substance in a specially marked bag into the trunk of her squad car, another cop walked away from the taped-off area with an automatic riffle, and an officer broke into a car to hotwire it and confiscate it!!

Okay, so all this being said, we can pretty much assume that there was violence & drugs involved in whatever happened! But in the middle of trying to figure out what was going on...I noticed something very odd! THERE WERE NO COP 'STACHES!?



According to the Positive Law Enforcement Blog, Department spokesman Sgt. Rick Mincy of the Chattanooga Police said, “When I think of a police officer, I think of a guy with a mustache!” - So clearly, something's changed in Chicago! The blog later continues with an average Chattanooga police officer being quite matter-of-fact about his facial hair, “I wear it here,” said Sgt. Tommy Meeks, pointing to his lip, “because I don’t have any here,” he continued, gesturing toward a balding scalp.

OKAY, so the two cops nearest me were 2 of 3 officers with face-fuzz. One with a fully seasoned salt & pepper beard trimmed at least a inch and a half from the face and pretty groomed. His partner on the other hand had a wild walrus mustache (like this gentleman that's pictured here)! And the third fuzzy faced detective had a white-man's-chin-strap (a little thicker than the hip-hop-standard-chin-strap). But that's it! That's all we get!

I tried to video tape what was happening, but the street lights were all in the wrong places. I was one step away from stepping outside and approaching Cop Beardy & his partner Detective Walrus 'Stache, when I decided that my inquiries may distract from the issues at hand. BUT SERIOUSLY, Dist. 14, what's with your lack of cop-staches!!??

It appears Dist 14 (serving Humboldt Park & Wicker Park - Chicago) is filled with Caucasian and Latino dudes that love their military hair cuts, big muscles, and bullet proof vests! I caught just a couple of Donout Storage Units (round cops), but they were clearly the higher ups - finally rolling out of the office to find out what's going on in the real world again!

These observations sparked an entire dialog between Fyodor, Lauren and myself. Lauren was hoping I'd go outside and address Cop Beardy, to try to get down to the bottom of the 'stache shift with the west side PD - and Fyodor was way too concerned with the idea of the police being frustrated with my bothering them to begin with - by the time I decided to take action, the large K-9 van, and 4 of the squads had disappeared; most tragically Cop Beardy & Walrus 'Stache!

So now, I feel that I have to make up for my hesitation! I believe this blog marks the begining of a serious investigation of the police and their internal psychology! I must understand why these west side Chicago Police Officers have walked away from a standard of facial-fuzz that's been with the force consistently since the 70's! I must get to the follical of this situation! I must know - where the 'stache has gone - and whether it's on the verge of making a come back!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Links:
2nd Annual Cop-Stache Contest
Positive Law Enforcement Blog -article sited here
Stachist.com - cop stach post
NBC Chicago's Coverage of Blackhawks' Coach's Cop-Stache

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Featured "Sleaze-Beard": George Michael

I fear that sometimes . . . facial hair can be used for evil! I think George Michael has proven this!

Clearly, he shaved in a little too close on the bottom edges!
But it gets better . . .

"Reverse-Landing-Strip Soul Patch"?
Awkward!

Ladies & Gentlemen, we call this the
"Fu-Man-Landing-Strip"



This post has been written for your enjoyment by, Commander Mojdeh.

Links
Definition of Sleazy

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If you MUST shave! Do it like they do in 19th century war time!

So a friend of mine randomly sends me a link to a website called "The Art Of Manliness" not so much because she wanted me to scope out some articles about furry men (though I found some!); but because she's in love with anyone that has an appreciation for things that are slightly old-timey. The primary contributors to artofmanliness.com all seem to call upon research and traditions of men from 1950's and earlier - which is very interesting. In many ways, it's as if men circa 1960 and after are no longer manly.

Nevertheless, I became very sucked into this website and found myself reading article after article from; An Article Guaranteed to Put Hair on Your Chest, to an article about COLD WATER SHAVING!

Now I know what you're thinking, "Moj, I don't understand why you're informing Men on how to shave if you want them to be bearded!" but alas - not ALL men can grow beautiful beards, and not all men should have full beards! So if you MUST shave - I think you might enjoy this article on cold water shaving. Take a lesson from some men that are VERY SERIOUS about the ART OF MANLINESS!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Links:
Art of Manliness - Cold Water Shaving - article
Art of Manliness - Chest Hair - article
My Star Trek / Space Blog
My Production Company
My Band

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Featured Blog : Awkward Family Pet Photos

Chairman of the Beard!

I don't think there's much that can be said about this image. Really, I think it speaks for itself!

To see more winning selections from the awkward family pet photos blog or view this image in it's original context, click here.

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Featured Artist : Marc Johns





Mr. Marc Johns creates whimsical drawings filled with a delightful amount of dry wit, sass, and humor. But more importantly he playfully incorporates facial fuzz as a part of his illustrations. These are my favorites!

Click here to visit his official website!

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This post has been written for your delight, by Commander Mojdeh!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Second in Command of The USS Beardy

~Hello All~

As you may know, Dan (aka: Georgia Des) retired this blog on Sept 2009 because school, life, faith, etc - were all very important at the time (and still remain as such).

Now, a few days ago I stumbled upon this delightful blog after google searching "foxy beard" in a random fit of incoherent boredom and this delightful little gem popped up!

I was excited for two reasons...it is true, most people that know me, know that I am delighted by all boys with beards (inclusive of mutton chops - cuz I'm no a hater), BUT also notice Dan's "RIP Beardy Blog" post's headstone image was of Evil Spock (the beard distinguishes him as such) - AND ALL PEOPLE THAT KNOW ME, know that I'm a massive trekkie (hence my tng blog).

Clearly the beard+trek combo certainly made my day complete! So I did what any sensible beard fanatic would do, went to my other blog and blogged about his blog. THEN, I emailed a stranger (Dan) and asked if I could continue the tradition he began in the art of beard appreciation!

Clearly he said "Yes" :-)

So allow me to humbly introduce myself...



Hi . . . my name is Mojdeh . . . I am a beard addict
[your line : welcome Mojdeh]

I'm a business owner, visual artist, live performer, space geek, and beard fanatic!
Act Like Ya Know :-)>



Monday, September 14, 2009

Series of Unfortunate Events



Unfortunately, it has become quite difficult to maintain a daily blog about beards. School has started, life is busy, and beards are, apparently, scarce. So, I will be discontinuing this blog and will be posting beards a little less often (but not too less often) on my other neglected blog, Here. See you there!