Monday, September 13, 2010

Sigmund Freud's Under-Recognized Theory on BEARD ENVY!

It seems that everywhere we go, we see signs of Sigmund Feud's always-correct theories of human behavior and sexuality in effect. Most are familiar with his psychosexual theories regarding women looking for men just like thier fathers, men looking for women just like thier mothers, and of course the infamous "penis envy".  These topics have been so talked about over the last century that neo-femenist actavists like Karen Horney have even expanded that into theories like "womb envy", etc.

What no one seems to talk about, is a much more serious issue that has been plaguing women for centuries; BEARD ENVY!  One of the beard blogs anonymous researchers has been scouring social media websites (ie. facebook, etc) for examples of women who clearly have said envy.

Sarah Herrmann, 2 time offender of facial hair impersonation!
The Beard Envy is so deep with this one, she even impersonated a uni-brow.

Jesse M (left), Mojdeh (right), circa 2005, it's true, Recovering Beard Enviests.

We've been Beard-Envy-Sober for 5 years!
 This is only SOME of the shocking truth that our researcher found on the facebook. If you would like to submit any documentation of ladies with Beard Envy, please send an email to, subject "BEARD BLOG".

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh.

Why Advertising Sucks Blog - Beard Envy post
Beard Envy as result of no facial hair, only neck beard


  1. Haha, you are hilarious! I actually have another example of beard envy too! After seeing pictures from the World Beard and Mustache championship I was inspired to go all out.

  2. Oh Sarah, you have no idea what you've just gotten yourself into!