Friday, July 30, 2010

For the love of beards! This is an unreasonable woman!

A woman who puts this much "sing-song" into trying to get her man to shave his beard is clearly a little batty! I could understand encouraging him to grow a fuller beard, possibly a goatee, but really, SHAVE IT ALL! The man would suddenly look like a boy . . . look at his porcelain baby face! Not worth it!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

MY DREAM COME TRUE? . . . almost . . .

So anyone that knows me particularly well knows that I have a bit of a soft spot for Red-Beards! Let me explain . . .

+ =

TRANSLATION: red beard + mojdeh = very very beautiful mixed children

Note: child pictured above has no relation to me! it's just a photo of a half ginger, half af-am child that I found via Google image search.

So when I stumbled upon a link called "Red-Beard Game" I became a tiny bit excited, but wasn't certain exactly what kind of "game" could involve a Red-Beard! Unfortunately for me, this was not a dating game for prospects in search of their dream ginger! Instead it was a quirky and adorable flash animated game where a tiny little man is trying very hard to get to gold treasure!

This post has been written for your delight by, the future, Mrs. Red Beard!


The Red Beard Game

Monday, July 26, 2010

Featured Poet: John Paul Davis

For all that understand the necessity to create art about the things that are most important in life, I present, John Paul Davis! He is an accomplished poet, designer, and the editor-in-chief of Bestiary Magazine (an innovative new literary magazine)! He recently returned to Chicago to accept a residency with Vox Ferus (a poetry performance, workshop, & writing non-profit). Since his return he's become the WORDS THAT KILL Slam Master, started a new magazine, and will represent the Mental Graffiti slam team at the 2010 National Poetry Slam! My hat goes of to you, oh bearded poet and talented peer!

Here's his poem "Ode To My Beard" as performed at the 2010 Green Mill semi-finals!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

John Paul Davis personal website
Bestiary Magazine official website
Lethal Poetry's WORDS THAT KILL series
Poetry Slam Inc official website

Friday, July 23, 2010

THE ROOTS MAKE MUSIC : The Roots are fans of BEARDS! (as it should be)

According to our reliable sources at it appears the author's of The Bearded Gentleman (book) had a run-in with acclaimed hip hop artists, ?uestlove and Black Thought of The Roots! At this strange encounter, it was brought to the authors' attention that these were two men who stand behind their beards with every follicle of confidence and celebration!

Now it is apparent that facial hair is a common staple in the hip hop world - however, unfortunately it often manifests in the form of what I like to call a "chin strap," a thin outline of the jaw line from side burn to side burn - it's not good!

Alas, I applaud Mr. ?uestlove & Black Thought for not attempting to bastardize the facial fuzz that God hath provided them!

Please click here if you'd like to see the source article about these beard enthusiastic musicians!

This article has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Featured Ad: Old Spice "Mustache Man"

I am oh so very entertained by this Old Spice ad. I think this family of ads that Old Spice has released are actually incredibly effective because it's over the top in "serious" but they are explicitly ridiculous about said "seriousness"! Please enjoy this Mustachiod spokesman for everyone's favorite rugged scent!

Delightful! Isn't it!? . . . Well I'm assuming you said yes.
SO! If that video was a treat, here's another entertaining Old Spice ad...just for good measure!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Old Spice official website
Old Spice You Tube Channel
My Star Trek Blog
My official website
My business's official website
My band's official website

Monday, July 19, 2010

Featured YouTube: Growing A Beard By Sheer Willpower

If one were to voyage to youtube as I have, searching for entertainment you might find that there are a million time lapsed videos of men who've documented the growth of their beard by way of taking a picture every day and editing it all together. However...if you look further - beyond the iMovie simple slide will find this little gem!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Featured Song: Sophie Madeleine's "Beard Song"

This is a delightful little treat that is sure to set the mood for an amazing weekend! I stumbled upon this song, much in the same way I stumbled upon this blog before I was the primary contributor! ENJOY!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

More Rediculous Music : "I Want Your DNA" by, Vynl Mo

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Featured Books : One Thousand Beards & The Bearded Gentlemen (preview)

I was turned onto the Art Of Manliness website recently and even made a post about it last week. In my further exploration of this amazing website I found a podcast interview with the author of "One Thousand Beards" and "The Bearded Gentleman", two books focused on facial hair culture.

One Thousand Beards, appears to be a historical commentary on beards from the caveman's era all the way to now! Tracing the history of things like the razor; back-in-the-day cave men figured out how to use clam shells to pluck their beards and over the centuries developed it to straight razors, and then multi-blade razors, and electric razors, etc. This book heavily considers religious, political, and economic influences upon the beard over the ages and even speaks of a time when men would be taxed for having a beard (a sign of wealth). This podcast interview on the was very informative but more so endeared the author to me (one more Canadian to love!).

The Bearded Gentleman, appears to be more of a how-to in beard preparation, maintenance, shaping, etc etc. It has also become a running blog since these books have been released, so check that out as well!

Both seem like worthy books to own if your are a beard fanatic!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Art of Manliness - website
Art of Manliness - Book Preview - podcast
The Commander Mojdeh Portal
Something Lethal

Monday, July 12, 2010

Featured Comedian: Bryan Bowden

THIS JUST IN: Due to popular demand (no, I'm totally serious, there's demand for this blog - who knew?!) I will now be posting every Monday, Wednesday, & Friday to fill your souls with beardy goodness! All that being said . . .

I'm sure most of you think that I spend every waking hour searching the world and the internet for fine examples of bearded excellence (and I do) but I'm a multi-tasker dammit! So at the monthly poetry & comedy showcase that I produce - you can be sure that I'll find a way to curate a few good beards into the mix!

Bryan Bowden, is one of the funniest beards in Chicago! In fact, he's even required to have a beard as a part of a show called "Impress These Apes," where he, of course performs as an ape! Naturally, I approve of the show!

[Photo credit: Lethal Poetry Staff Photographer, Lauren Herrmann]

Take a listen to this clip of his performance at Lethal Poetry's Words That Kill series in May, as he explains how the Australian gov't made a special request to utilize a photograph of him with a handlebar mustache that they found on his flickr page!! [Audio credit: Fyodor Sakhnovski -]

[Photo care of Bryan]

This post has been written for your enjoyment by, Commander Mojdeh!

Listen to Bryan Bowden's Audio Clip
Blewt Productions - Impress These Apes
Lethal Poetry Productions
Words That Kill series

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Breaking News: Serious Crime In Humboldt Park, BUT WHERE ARE ALL THE COP 'STACHES?

It's 4:32am right now - Earlier I heard some noises which I wrote off as being fire crackers. I distinctly remember thinking to myself "I hate fire crackers - they make me feel as if there are guns going off in my neighborhood. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a fool, but it's July 10th when I'm thinking this, at 1am and you can be damn sure there are STILL kids setting off their tiny rockets & fire crackers as if the 4th ends when they want it to end.

About 25-40 mins pass and I hear my friend Fyodor say, "They're arresting some guy!" - Okay, now my interest is peaked. I stand up & start peering in the direction of the of badge toting dudes piled upon one poor sucker that's getting hand cuffed. It took several minutes to cuff him and get him tucked into a car - and all I could think was, "How many cops does it take to fasten some hand cuffs...count...1, 2, 3, 4, 5!..." AMAZING!

By the time Mr. Criminal had been tucked away into a vehicle to take to lock-up, I'd gathered the binoculars and I'm watching hard-core like this is an episode of 24! ::insert beeping clock here::

I completely understand that I was being sucked into the event that was happening outside as if it was spectacle - but in many ways it was just that!

They put police tape up to section off 1/4 of the entire block - there were at least 15 to 20 officers, several of which were specialized detectives, k-9 units, & sheriffs. I saw one officer put a large bag of white powdery substance in a specially marked bag into the trunk of her squad car, another cop walked away from the taped-off area with an automatic riffle, and an officer broke into a car to hotwire it and confiscate it!!

Okay, so all this being said, we can pretty much assume that there was violence & drugs involved in whatever happened! But in the middle of trying to figure out what was going on...I noticed something very odd! THERE WERE NO COP 'STACHES!?

According to the Positive Law Enforcement Blog, Department spokesman Sgt. Rick Mincy of the Chattanooga Police said, “When I think of a police officer, I think of a guy with a mustache!” - So clearly, something's changed in Chicago! The blog later continues with an average Chattanooga police officer being quite matter-of-fact about his facial hair, “I wear it here,” said Sgt. Tommy Meeks, pointing to his lip, “because I don’t have any here,” he continued, gesturing toward a balding scalp.

OKAY, so the two cops nearest me were 2 of 3 officers with face-fuzz. One with a fully seasoned salt & pepper beard trimmed at least a inch and a half from the face and pretty groomed. His partner on the other hand had a wild walrus mustache (like this gentleman that's pictured here)! And the third fuzzy faced detective had a white-man's-chin-strap (a little thicker than the hip-hop-standard-chin-strap). But that's it! That's all we get!

I tried to video tape what was happening, but the street lights were all in the wrong places. I was one step away from stepping outside and approaching Cop Beardy & his partner Detective Walrus 'Stache, when I decided that my inquiries may distract from the issues at hand. BUT SERIOUSLY, Dist. 14, what's with your lack of cop-staches!!??

It appears Dist 14 (serving Humboldt Park & Wicker Park - Chicago) is filled with Caucasian and Latino dudes that love their military hair cuts, big muscles, and bullet proof vests! I caught just a couple of Donout Storage Units (round cops), but they were clearly the higher ups - finally rolling out of the office to find out what's going on in the real world again!

These observations sparked an entire dialog between Fyodor, Lauren and myself. Lauren was hoping I'd go outside and address Cop Beardy, to try to get down to the bottom of the 'stache shift with the west side PD - and Fyodor was way too concerned with the idea of the police being frustrated with my bothering them to begin with - by the time I decided to take action, the large K-9 van, and 4 of the squads had disappeared; most tragically Cop Beardy & Walrus 'Stache!

So now, I feel that I have to make up for my hesitation! I believe this blog marks the begining of a serious investigation of the police and their internal psychology! I must understand why these west side Chicago Police Officers have walked away from a standard of facial-fuzz that's been with the force consistently since the 70's! I must get to the follical of this situation! I must know - where the 'stache has gone - and whether it's on the verge of making a come back!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

2nd Annual Cop-Stache Contest
Positive Law Enforcement Blog -article sited here - cop stach post
NBC Chicago's Coverage of Blackhawks' Coach's Cop-Stache

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Featured "Sleaze-Beard": George Michael

I fear that sometimes . . . facial hair can be used for evil! I think George Michael has proven this!

Clearly, he shaved in a little too close on the bottom edges!
But it gets better . . .

"Reverse-Landing-Strip Soul Patch"?

Ladies & Gentlemen, we call this the

This post has been written for your enjoyment by, Commander Mojdeh.

Definition of Sleazy

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If you MUST shave! Do it like they do in 19th century war time!

So a friend of mine randomly sends me a link to a website called "The Art Of Manliness" not so much because she wanted me to scope out some articles about furry men (though I found some!); but because she's in love with anyone that has an appreciation for things that are slightly old-timey. The primary contributors to all seem to call upon research and traditions of men from 1950's and earlier - which is very interesting. In many ways, it's as if men circa 1960 and after are no longer manly.

Nevertheless, I became very sucked into this website and found myself reading article after article from; An Article Guaranteed to Put Hair on Your Chest, to an article about COLD WATER SHAVING!

Now I know what you're thinking, "Moj, I don't understand why you're informing Men on how to shave if you want them to be bearded!" but alas - not ALL men can grow beautiful beards, and not all men should have full beards! So if you MUST shave - I think you might enjoy this article on cold water shaving. Take a lesson from some men that are VERY SERIOUS about the ART OF MANLINESS!

This post has been written for your delight by, Commander Mojdeh!

Art of Manliness - Cold Water Shaving - article
Art of Manliness - Chest Hair - article
My Star Trek / Space Blog
My Production Company
My Band